Friday, June 10, 2016

Almost leaving, part 2

This will be my last entry since I leave my hotel at 4am tomorrow morning which means the next time I will have access to my internet on my laptop will be when I get home, and blogging about my trip after my trip seems depressing. After obsessing about dinner to the point where I let myself get too hungry, I decided against going to the vegetarian place again and to instead go to a place down the block from my hotel which I have patronized a few times since I’ve been here. I am having some pre-return-home anxiety and I decided comfort was a better choice. That other restaurant is really good but I don’t feel at home there. And I’m opting for comfort food rather than a salad (I just ordered the tempeh burger and grilled vegetables- I know this is not comfort food for everyone but I have had it and it’s good. I also got some wine. Fuck it- I’ll stop drinking everyday when I go back to my life).

This will be quick since I didn’t fill this day with tons of activities. I ate light at the hotel so I could go back to the Globe for breakfast. I decided against french toast when I remembered that I have not had good bread here. I had pancakes. They were ok- certainly not Crepevine pancakes and with a very small portion of maple syrup. But still better than the fruit-yogurt-granola breakfast I’ve been having every morning since I’ve been here. While I was there, I worked on my manuscript. I bought a couple of store t-shirts from after obsessively trying a woman’s large on and then the x-large and then the large again. The woman who worked there said they are cut very small. Her exact words were ‘I can’t get one boob in there,’ which I am very certain I have said several times myself about various articles of clothing. Well, I can say I’m in great shape if it doesn’t shrink. The woman there said that she thinks they are pre-shrunk but cannot say for sure because they don’t use dryers in Prague because the electricity is so expensive. She also talked to me about how they handle this in laundromats but I must have stopped listening because I don’t know what they do in laundromats. Oh that’s right, she was actually saying that often when people rent an apartment in Prague, the appliances are not included (don’t know how we got on that from the laundromat) and so you have to move into a place and then buy your refridgerator, oven, etc. 
I walked to Stare Mesto to see it one more time, take pictures of things I am sure I have multiple pictures of already. I walked to and across the Charles Bridge and did pictures again. I am not posting more pictures because you have seen it all before. I saw a guy playing this really interesting drum; I almost bought his CD but didn’t. I saw the string band again and they were awesome again. I got short videos of both. Seeing live music on the bridge was a good way to say good bye to it.
I was back at my hotel for a number of hours, partially snacking, partially getting ready for my departure, partially reading my book. But I couldn’t put off my dinner anymore and so I finally came here, Kaverna Zanzibar. I have my wine and I’m waiting for my food.
I’ve been thinking about being here and the energy of being in a new place. Already the energy of going to these places has changed in the last two weeks. I really love it here but I am a tourist. I always think that the experience is somewhat contrived unless you live in the place, or can experience it with someone who lives there. I can never RETURN here as it is because it is now familiar. If I came back, I would likely have a re-do of what I already did, unless I moved here. The other way to experience a place anew to go back with someone else, but I don’t see that happening. So this really is a fleeting moment. Even if I come back one day, it will be different. Maybe it will be better. (My food just came. I just ate a vegetable I cannot identify. I just abandoned the top of my bun). 
What I don’t want to think about is anxiety about returning home. I have this problem where I think if I am gone too long, especially in another country, some bad shit went down. It’s like if I can’t keep an eye on everything, it’s going to fall to shit. Nothing has ever fallen to shit while I’ve been away (except that thing that happened with my roommate in Boulder in 2000). Work is going to be busy but I have supportive coworkers and it will be fine. And chances are I’m not getting evicted. So I have to periodically talk myself down. I constantly check in with myself and ask ‘is that worry still there?’ Of course it is, or else I wouldn’t be asking myself that. 
So I guess this is it until my next trip. This place really did agree with me more than Thailand. Maybe I should stop getting travel advice from psychics. I have snacks prepared for the plane ride, along with reading material and knitting. I always say, you never get a viable excuse to sit on your ass for hours on end; better make the most of it.
Now I’ll pay the check, go back to my hotel room to eat fruit and knit and watch the second half of the QandA video from last night  (it’s a panel show from Australia- really interesting- check it out).
Thanks for reading.
Love,
Delia
PS- I really hope they don’t loose my luggage. Last two international trips I made, they lost my luggage. So I say now, lost luggage is the only condition under which there will be another entry for this trip. I hope you don’t hear from me.

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