So I should probably describe the structure here (not that I HAVE TO do anything, but it would make sense to explain this thing I'm doing). Women Reading Aloud is a non-profit run by Julie Maloney which provides workshops to women. She is based in NJ but has retreats in Greece and France (although this will be the last one here because this place is being sold). Most of you know I have done writing and yoga retreats before and I was looking for a similar experience. This was similar but different in certain ways:
1- It's only for women. In this case all white and I believe straight-identified women (not that that's a requirement, but that's who showed up, at least this time). The past retreats I did were not gender-specific but both times the only dude was the guy running it.
2- The writing time is more structured than I was looking for. In the past, we talked about writing for about an hour, got a short reading assignment and suggestions for writing assignments, but then we had hours to write on our own and do what we want. And we were encouraged to do writing marathons, which consists of writing a minimum of a word a second, for hours. Also, in the past we workshopped but you only shared if you wanted. Here it's pretty much expected that you will share what you write; only myself and another person ever passed on sharing.
3- I had a feeling (and I was right) that this retreat was geared more towards fiction writers, not poets, and especially not experimental poets.
So basically what happens is we meet from 9:30am-12:30pm and we are given 1-2 prompts, we write for 5-45 minutes and then we share. Following, we give feedback and the format of this is similar to my past retreats. This retreat follows the Amherst Writing and Artist Method, which means everything is considered fiction, we only address the narrator (not the writer) and we only talk about what is working and what stays with us. This last part is especially ideal for writing that was just written a few minutes ago.
We also sometimes did "nite writes" after dinner. During the later afternoon, there might be a trip or another activity, and so there was not a ton of time to write towards my projects.
Yoga was 7:15am-8:15am with occasional afternoon or evening offerings.
I came here wanting to get to a new stage with two chapbook length manuscripts and start a new project. I got a fraction of that done. I kind of feel ok with this because I enjoyed writing in a different genre and hearing everyone's work. After the lost-luggage stress was over, I found our Kula (the name for the community created in which we support each other) pretty satisfying. Having said that, these are all things I would be considering before I decide to do the Greek retreat, which has a different set up because of the location and accommodations. I do wonder if this will have lasting effect on my work; I had been thinking about how to incorporate more narrative in my new project so dipping my toe back in may have done me good.
Another thing that had made this a pretty stress-free retreat is that because I am surrounded by older women, I am not spending energy negatively comparing myself to others. I am not at all proud of this fact but there you go. Also, because I've had my hair up this whole time, I have not had to deal with that anxiety, until I washed it earlier today and pulled out 4-5 days worth of shed (those of you who know what I have been dealing with in the hair department know what I'm talking about, and those of you who don't know can ask if you are interested). This is not to say that I've been loving myself in a bikini (especially after 8 days of serious carb-loading) but I've had a vacation from most self-consciousness. I have no doubt it will come back the same as before. I will say I realize I hate being in a bathing suit. This is about my physical experience of being in my body and it goes back to childhood (without getting too detailed). So it makes sense that, besides my belief that as a society we're way too uptight about bodies, I prefer being naked to being in a swimsuit.
Some other little details:
I have had this pain in my right side for weeks now. I thought it was from working out but I have had it upon waking up almost every day here. So it's probably something else.
I am the only person here besides the guy who owns the place, that does not have painted toenails. I consider this a badge of honor.
I am also the only one attending the retreat with visible tattoos. It makes sense but in my world, this is highly unusual.
I don't know if this is because I am not at work but my introverted-ness has been less triggered here. I have at times kept to myself because I want to work on my own projects, but I have not felt the urge to get away from people. At times I'm downright friendly. Every meal we sit with different people and the conversation is always pleasant.
Today during critique, one of the women disagreed with my impression of a character (I still disagree with her, but whatever) and I was aware that for the first time, I felt an acute hesitation to share my work afterwards. That was the only time someone disagreed with someone's critique. I was being over-sensitive, probably because the format of the critique does not really allow for us to go back and forth and discuss who got it 'right.'
I have only gone to yoga a few times. I also did an afternoon stretch a few days ago which I found really helpful for my hip. Since I wanted to prioritize writing, sometimes I came downstairs to write (and write this blog) before 7am, instead of doing yoga.
I packed really crappily for this trip. I brought books I didn't open, an extra journal I certainly didn't need and cold weather clothes in case it was cold at night (it was not). And I acquired extra crap due to having to buy stuff when my luggage was lost. I still think I can get the two bottle of wine in :)
Okay, that's it for now. This is a picture of (part of) the Kula.
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